


Say Something

by ladygalpal



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Break Up, Depressed Alex, Depression, F/F, Mostly Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 08:32:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11505618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladygalpal/pseuds/ladygalpal
Summary: Words fade when she sees the emptiness of Alex’s eyes. No despair. No regret. All comfort gone. Though, to be honest, she hasn’t felt that comfort, that warmth in months. She had been holding onto the glimmer of hope lingering in Alex’s deep brown eyes but tonight has robbed her of that too. The home she once found there was now vacant.Canon compliant through 2x19. After dealing with the revelations about her father and her kidnapping, Alex slips into a major depression. Inspired by "Say Something" by A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera.





	Say Something

Maggie pulls into the parking spot alongside their apartment but doesn’t turn off the car. It’s only when she turns down the music that Alex jolts and seems to notice where they are. Maggie sits up straighter and runs a hand through her hair steeling herself for what she’s about to tell the love of her life.

“I—“ She has to take another deep breathe before she can continue. “I can’t do this anymore.” Her voice cracks and she hates it.

“What do you mean?”

“This isn’t working. I have to go. To give us space. Give _you_ space.”

“Space? What are you saying?”

“It’s been almost two years since…” She doesn’t finish that thought when she sees Alex tense up immediately. She starts again.

“We keep having the same arguments. I don’t know what to do anymore and I don’t know how else to help you if you won’t talk to me. I just can’t be so _helpless_ all the time.”

“Helpless? Maggie please…”

“A few weeks ago the DEO recruited me for their new outreach program with police departments around the country…”

She pauses to gage Alex’s reaction, as she’s unsure if this is new information to her or not. Since Alex accepted her demotion at the DEO, Maggie’s not sure what level her security covers any more.

“Well, I got my assignment today. I move to Seattle next week.”

Alex’s eyes snap to hers but her expression remained unreadable. Her eyes are distant as she bites her lip and nods her head. But she seems almost relieved? Honestly it’s the biggest reaction Maggie’s gotten from her in weeks.

“This is all moving faster than I thought possible, but I guess money is no object when you’re a super secret government agency,” Maggie’s instinct to lighten the mood fails miserably and she wishes Alex would just say what she was thinking.

She’s been working hard not to fall back on old defense mechanisms. To try and help old wounds heal knowing Alex would be there to support her, which makes her feel all the more guilty now. But this is different. Alex has completely shut her out. She’s been so distant for so long. The lying started more recently.

The car is silent as Maggie lets the weight of the conversation sink in. She fiddles with the worn leather on the cuff of her sleeves trying not to let tears fall. Alex sits stoically next to her. She clenches and unclenches her jaw, then lets out a long steadying breath. Other than shifting her gaze from the mailboxes outside the to Maggie’s motorcycle parked by their front door, Alex’s expression remains blank.

Maggie senses a quiet but definitive shift in Alex. Her shoulders seem to gradually soften but she seems unable to fully relax. Maggie’s picked up on this listlessness from Alex after the incident with her dad in the woods happened, but this? This resignation? This was new.

“Say _something_. Anything,” Maggie pleads and her voice cracks. She’s unraveling faster than she wanted but something clearly isn’t working between them anymore and hasn’t been for a while. Alex parted her lips as if to start talking but remain quiet, not knowing what to say.

“Are we…” Alex can’t bring herself to finish that question so she finally settles on another.

“How long?” Seeing the quizzical look on Maggie’s face she clarifies. “Seattle, how long?”

“Six months.” There’s another long pause while Alex sits with this information. Maggie is again the one to break the silence.

“I know it’s been tough for you—for us, with your dad and the kidnapping and the invasion and Kara.”

Alex lets a sarcastic chuckle escape her lips. Maggie twists in her seat to face Alex completely.

“But it’s like you’re pushing me out. What happened to ‘I’m here to help you heal’? That goes both ways, Alex. I can’t do this alone. I tried and I can’t. I need your help.”

“I – I just can’t deal with… all _that_. And with us,” Alex takes a stuttering breath and leans against the window putting as much space as possible between herself and Maggie in the cramped space of the car. “I don’t know how.”

“So this is your answer? To push me away? To just give up?”

“I’m not the one moving away here, Mags.”

“I am _not_ giving up on us. I’ve been here supporting you, loving you, fighting for us to make things better. But it’s been a one sided effort and I’m exhausted, Alex. I don’t know what else to do but I know I can’t keep doing this.”

“I still—I want to be happy with _you_ …I just keep going back to that glass tank and thinking about how he watched me, watched us for months and I didn’t notice. I put you and everyone I love in danger.”

“Alex you can’t—“

“I know. I know you think dealing with my dad is an excuse but it’s not. I’ve been trained for this type of thing. And I hate that I let my dad distract me. I hate that I believed him for so long. I hate him for what he said in the woods and I hate him for making me miss something that should have been so _obvious_.”

Alex has to pause to calm herself down, although her fists are still clenched when she continues.

“I’m just—I need to figure out who I am after everything that’s happened. I’ve spent so much of my life pushing away my own feelings in order to fix everyone else’s problems that I don’t know who I am any more. And I--”

“Alex…”

“I can’t… give any more right now. Okay? Can’t you see that? I’m not good right now and you,” her eyes drift to Maggie’s before darting back to the mailboxes outside. “You deserve more than this.”

Seeing Alex this vulnerable, Maggie’s already broken heart shatters into infinitely smaller pieces. She bites the inside of her lip and she holds back tears as her chin starts to quiver. She can’t remember the last time Alex opened up this much.

Her voice softer than ever, “Alex, that’s not—“

Words fade when she sees the emptiness of Alex’s eyes. No despair. No regret. All comfort gone. Though to be honest she hasn’t felt that comfort, that warmth in months. She had been holding on to the glimmer of hope lingering in Alex’s deep brown eyes but tonight has robbed her of that too. The home she once found there was now vacant.

Maggie slowly brings her hand to gently cup Alex’s face and rub her thumb along her cheekbones. She tilts her head and offers a sad smile as she meets Alex’s eyes.

“I love you. So much. Do you hear me, Danvers?”

Alex shows the first hint of a smile at her nickname and leans into her girlfriend’s outstretched hand. Maggie’s heart fills in a way it hasn’t in months.

“And me leaving does not change that.”

She nods into Maggie palm and releases a deep breath she didn’t realize she was holding. She pushes gently into Maggie’s palm before straightening back up in her seat. Maggie leans forward to turn off the car and glances back at Alex whose eyes are now closed. She grabs their leftovers and the slice of pie they had ordered to go from the back seat.

“Come on. Let’s go in.”

Maggie opens her door and jogs around to Alex’s side to open hers before she has the chance. Alex ducks her head and blushes. Maggie reaches out for her hand and she leads her inside the apartment. Once inside she drops her keys in the bowl by the door and heads to the kitchen to put the food away.

She sets the food on the counter and the next thing she knows is Alex tugging her back and warm lips crashing into hers. Maggie gasps then melts into the kiss. Her free hand finds its way to Alex’s hip, rubbing small circles there. Alex hums into the kiss sending shivers through them both. Maggie’s heart aches when Alex pulls back.

“Thank you.”

Maggie smiles and tilts her head to the side, thumbs still tracing Alex’s hip.

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it however many times you need. You deserve to live a real, full, happy life. And if right now that means figuring things out on your own then I won’t get in the way.”

“Say it again.”

“You deserve to live a real, full, happy life, Alex.”

Under Maggie’s careful, loving stare, Alex has to bite her lip to hold back tears. She dips her head for another lingering kiss then turns around and slowly leads Maggie to their bedroom.

“Say it again?”


End file.
